Rant, rant, rant.

You know. I really wanted to do a blog post about what happened to me this week but I don’t really feel like it.

Basically, someone did something to me that hurt me deeply. Something that left me questioning every detail that transpired.

Lesson learned this week is that I apparently cannot trust anyone. In order to protect myself, I have to remember that I cannot depend on anyone but myself.

Oh well. I don’t need anyone and certainly not somebody who would treat me like I’m lower than the dirt on their shoe.

It’s times like these that you find out who your real friends are.

 

RIP Braydon Lee

My friend died today. He was 26.

Last year Braydon was diagnosed with Lymphoma. He underwent chemotherapy and other treatments and even was given a stem cell transplant in January. Last week, the doctors told him there was nothing more they could do for him.

He went to Israel to see this doctor who has been trying new treatments but Braydon passed away this morning after going into septic shock. His parents will be returning with Braydon’s body.

Rest in Peace Braydon. You fought a courageous battle and were taken too soon. You and your family are in my thoughts and you will be missed.

Weekend update and Sunday Blahs

I already have a Livejournal but I thought that I would set up an account here to use as well. I originally had an idea for this blog but I don’t know if it will pan out so instead, I’m going to just use this journal for a little bit of everything.

This weekend hasn’t been too exciting. On Sautrday, I slept in a bit and got up and took my time getting ready. My mom had gone to Wal-Mart earlier this morning to run some errands and she had picked up “Breaking Dawn” for me. After breakfast, I curled up with my library book as I needed to get read as it was due today. After it was finished, I headed down to the library to return it. I also went to the used book store as well as Chapters and I didn’t buy a thing. I’m proud of myself. It’s rare that I leave a book store without something in my hands.

I had a scare as I was coming home yesterday. I was on a road we call 2nd Concession and it was pretty snow covered and icy in spots. There was this vehicle going south (I was going north) and he was passing a snow plow on a road where you are not allowed to pass vehicles on. In order to avoid a head on collision, I had to move onto the shoulder of the road, as did the guy behind me. My back end started fishtailing and I lost control of my car. My car ended up doing a 180 turn into on-coming traffic. How I did not  hit a light post, another car or end up in a ditch, is beyond me. Had I hit the ditch, I would have definitely rolled my car.  I really do think I had someone watching out for me. I had to sit on the shoulder of the road for a bit. I was shaking so bad.

Today I slept in until almost noon. I had no desire to get up this morning. I had breakfast and then I tried to read on the couch but my mom (who knew I was trying to read) decided that she was going to watch the show “Smash” which she had PVRed. So I had to put aside what I was doing and go watch it. Then when we were halfway through the show the phone rang. My mom can never leave a ringing phone ringing. So she answered it and I had to wait for practically a half an hour while she talked to her friend on the phone. Once we were finished watching the show, I decided that I was going to go back to reading because basically, I wasn’t feeling up to being social and of course, mom moves to put on Season 3 of “Wildfire” so being as I haven’t seen the episodes and wanted to watch them, I was stuck watching them.

Today was just an off day in general. I’m feeling down. Depression is never fun to deal with. You have really good days and then you have days on the complete opposite side of the spectrum. Having a family that doesn’t even know about my depression sucks. It’s a lonely battle when you don’t have the support of your family or even just their understanding. But I know that if I told my parents about it, they wouldn’t understand and they (mostly my mom) would tell me that “it’s all in my head” and to “just snap out of it”. My mom can be so judgemental that it it angers me.

I suppose that is it for now. I’m hoping that I can get to bed early tonight. Hopefully tomorrow brings better spirits.